There are repercussions to a major breach of trust that damage the collective good of society.  Being treated in an unfair manner diminishes our willingness to trust, as you would assume, but it also decreases our willingness to demonstrate trustworthy behaviour.  This is a sad and unhealthy consequence of serious trust breach.

THE BAD NEWS, THE BETTER NEWS AND THE SILVER LINING

The bad news: Trust breaches, like earthquakes, serve as “shocks” that alter the underlying structure of the relationship.  They are shortly followed by “aftershocks” which occur as the injured party (trustor) evaluates circumstances and renegotiates the relationship.  South Africans have borne the full brunt of the initial “shock” in a week in July 2021 that will be forever etched in our memories, but the aftershock is still to follow.  It is regretful that a less than sturdy relationship has had to absorb another shock which has further weakened its structure. The better news may be in the aftershock where the injured parties, in this case the South African minorities, have the opportunity to evaluate and renegotiate the future relationship.  If this is done with wisdom South Africa will be in a far better place.  The silver lining: Unlike the Covid pandemic which perpetuated mistrust, the events of July 2021 has resulted in a unifying vulnerability.  Pockets of South Africans across all racial groups have allowed their collective vulnerability to unify them.  Formally unlikely allies, the taxi association has stood shoulder to shoulder with Indian, black, coloured and white South African suburbia as a band of brothers protecting their futures from senseless plunder. 

THE RIPPLE EFFECT  

Trust erosion breadth speaks to the spread of impairment from one trust facet to all, or other trust facets.  When one of the two trust pillars, integrity, has been so severely violated the ripple effect is impossible to compartmentalize and contain.

We frequently disregard the ripple effects breach of trust has on those not directly affected, who may not have witnessed the breach.  These third parties are often indignant over the moral transgression the injury represents.  Left unattended, damaged relationships and the resulting resentment and anger will disrupt society and commerce simultaneously and could spread like a disease if camps of support form. 

REPAIRING TRUST 

There are three aspects to repairing serious trust breaches: consequence, empathy and forgiveness.

Consequence is a vital first step in the repair process and deals with the acceptance of responsibility and accountability by the transgressors for the negative effects of their choices and actions as well as the strength of their efforts to promote the belief that they should be trusted again.  

Remorse, shame and apology go a long way in repairing trust.  We mustn’t shield people from feeling, lest we want to stunt their personal development.  We learned so much from the Volkswagen diesel emissions fraud and the critical importance of accepting accountability when their group CEO said, “We screwed up!”  Their case study shows jail time for senior executives, wholesale dismissals, payment of staggering sanctions, radical reform and rebranding to slowly earn the trust of their customers.  I hope this point is not missed by South Africa’s leadership.   

Empathy is about walking in the shoes of the other party.  Are we able to get over to “their island” and feel what they feel?  We must ask why they behaved like they did?  Why were people so flammable that a tiny spark ignited deplorable behaviour?  What bitterness and discontent have they been harbouring and are they discontent with the right people?  Is it possible that when you have been lied to repeatedly you start to build resentment and feel a loss of hope?  If you take hope from people, they never look up, and South Africa needs dreamers who are looking up and dreaming of a better tomorrow.

Forgiveness has redemptive powers and is a steppingstone to reconstructing trust after serious breach.  It is redeeming because it demonstrates the sacrifice of one’s own interests for the benefit of the relationship.  Forgiveness is a conscious decision to release feelings of bitterness or vengeance toward a group who has harmed you.  Here is the thing about forgiveness, we mostly forgive because we choose to, regardless of whether the forgiven are deserving.  It does not mean condoning, or excusing and in some cases, it doesn’t mean forgetting either.  We must use the lessons of the past to upgrade the future.

Forgiveness reopens the door to reconciliation and is a catalyst for rebuilding trust.  Reconciliation post forgiveness transcends cognitive neutrality, demonstrates vulnerability and lays the foundation to rebuild and strengthen relationships.  Join me there.

SHANE WARD

TRUST SPECIALIST