Look at what you are wearing. You selected your outfit from an array of clothing available to you in your wardrobe this morning. For some, this may have been an easy selection process. Others may have piles of discarded clothes scattered on their bed after eliminating combinations and eventually settling on what you find yourself wearing now. If you are a male and you are reading this article feeling that it doesn’t apply to you because your wife selected your clothes and laid them out on the bed for you while you were brushing your teeth, then may I suggest that there are articles on the web of more value to you. Google key phrases like “How to man-up” , “7 habits of losers” or “Have I married my Mom?” and put your back into it.  

Now that I have lost two thirds of my male readers (astonishingly true according to a survey done by Style Pilot) I want to make my way gingerly to the point. We think about relatively simple tasks like what to wear every day yet apply little thought to what we think about. We seem to have forgotten that what we think about is a choice.  If you begin to consciously examine your thoughts, you will be fascinated to discover the negative content you contemplate. Often when you start to analyse your thinking it becomes apparent why your life is where it is.

Who we are and what we do first takes shape in our mind. It is our thoughts that motivate our actions which ultimately determines our experience and destiny. With that in mind should we not perhaps re-think what we think? The enemy is passivity! A passive thinker allows random thoughts to float in and out of their mind giving those (very often toxic) thoughts, space and permission to grow and infect. We seem to have a morbid tendency to entertain the negative. We allow suggestions, suppositions, hypothesis and worst-case scenarios, real or fanciful, to run rampant in our minds. We mull over negative scenarios with determined repetition and in doing so authorise our own destruction. We are drawn thought by thought into a spiral of frenzy, fear and ultimately depression. It is not only mentally exhausting and physically harmful but has no positive influence in improving our outcomes. On the contrary, when our minds are so wildly and continuously obsessed on a negative thought it causes creative paralysis. This hinders problem solving ability which further supports the idea that harboring & entertaining negative thoughts is futile. 

We need to become aware and intentional about what we think about. Your mind belongs to you, so be very selective with access. 

Does this mean that we never have to host a negative thought? I wish that were so. What I am talking about is a “mosquito thought”. This little insect takes more human lives than any other animal roaming the earth. Have you ever been drifting towards slumber when you hear the high-pitched buzzing of a mosquito? The only thing worse than that sound is when it stops because then you think its biting you. This normally prompts you to hit yourself in the hope of striking the mozzie. Just like a mulled over, unhealthy thought, the mosquito is relentless. After thrashing about for a while in the dark like you were trying to get rid of a bad smell, sleep is no longer on your mind and you put the lights on. With a vengeful heart and malicious intent, you go on the hunt, generally armed with a shoe. The mosquito has robbed you of sleep, accelerated your heart rate, elevated your blood pressure and become your focus. That is the unhealthy thinking pattern I am referring to and it will sap you of life if you allow it. 

The good news is, unhealthy thinking patterns cannot survive without you. If you don’t feed them, they lose strength and then leave. Ridding unhealthy thinking patterns has to become a conscious effort that is practiced hourly, and then in time, daily. In my own life I used to set 2 or 3 reminders per day on my phone and the pop-up message would read “Where is your mind?” In many instances I had to be intentional about removing negative thinking that was unhelpful and replace it with more positive, optimistic thoughts about my children, a planned vacation or solving a problem as opposed to looking at the same issue a thousand times.  You have to put negative thinking down and be mindful not to pick it up again and again. Unhealthy thinking needs to be identified, arrested and then replaced with healthy thoughts. A corrupted thinking system is a giant and if you don’t slay your giant it will enslave you. 

Make a choice to live more deliberately and more joyfully by thinking more deliberately and more joyfully. Life is short, even if you live past 100. Don’t be deceived into thinking time is infinite. Don’t be robbed of joy for one more day. Change your life by changing your mind. 

Shane Ward